Quality or quantity?
by georgiebunk29
Summary: Ever been so bored you did something stupid, just to entertain yourself? Pansy did: she started a food war with Blaise Zambini. PPBZ
1. Chapter 1

**Quality or quantity?**

**(For those reading my other fic, this will only take a few chapies to finish and then I'll be back to that. I'm having some trouble working out how to get to the next plot development anyway, so I figured I may as well get this out of my brain and stop it distracting me. )**

**A/N: The ongoing food fight in this fic, as well as the title line, are based on a real food fight I had recently at work (I'm a waitress) with a mate. He was, however, only a mate and all the romance is created purely for your enjoyment and has no basis in reality (yes, you can breath again Bry). **

**In this fic, Pansy and Blaise are portrayed as decent people. My apologies, I wanted to use Fred, but couldn't find a girl that I wanted to star opposite him.**

**Disclaimer: Pansy and Blaise are the creations of Ms Rowling, I have merely appropriated them for a few days- hopefully they'll enjoy the experience. All other characters also belong to J.K.**

Pansy was bored. And she knew who to blame- Hermione Granger.

The girl's ceaseless campaigning about house elf rights had finally fallen on receptive ears- Dumbledore's. He had decided that Granger's arguments had merit and that it was important that the students of Hogwarts should learn empathy as well as transfiguration, charms and potions. The result was that all students fifth year and up were taking turns to work in the kitchens alongside the house elves.

Pansy's partner was Lavender Brown. They were supposed to be working the evening shifts together all this week. Only Brown had gone and sprained her ankle yesterday. Magic could re-grow bones, seamlessly heal cuts and correct grotesquely swollen or discoloured features, but do you think it was possible to fix a simple sprained ankle? So Brown was restricted to the Gryffindor tower for at least a week and Pavarti Patil had to take her their class work. And Pansy had to do her kitchen shifts alone.

If she didn't know better she'd think Brown had done it on purpose.

She hoped that she was being well entertained by Granger.

Granger had offered to do extra kitchen shifts to fill in for Brown, but had been told she would be of more assistance in helping Brown to keep up with her classes. It was one thing to be grateful for- the only thing more boring than being down here alone with the sullen house elves, would be being stuck down here with Hermione Granger.

She stepped back from the carrots she was chopping for dinner and nearly tripped over a house elf. _Again_. Cursing under her breath- _why_ _do they have to be so short?-_ she turned around to apologize. Her words stopped in her throat as she took in the wobbling tower of knitted hats the creature was wearing. It reached almost to her chin- which wasn't bad considering the house elf wasn't even as tall as her waist. "I-I'm sorry." She stuttered. _Why all the hats!_ "I didn't see you there."

The creature just stared up at her with huge watery green eyes. She began to feel slightly disconcerted. _Why won't he talk? At least with the curt and icy courtesy of the other house elves. Why is he just staring?_ "Are you OK?" she asked hesitantly. _Maybe the hats have overheated his brain? _

Suddenly he grabbed her legs, making her jump. Wrapping his short arms around her he began to bawl against her robes. He was talking through his sobs and it took her a moment to work out what he was saying. "…just like him…(sob)…thought…(sob)…Master…(sob)…Malfoy's friend…(sob)…would be cruel…(sob)…but she is…(sob)…kind." _He doesn't mean I'm Malfoy's friend surely?_

At that moment another voice startled her, speaking from right beside her shoulder: "What, no hello for me Dobby?" She turned her head and saw Blaise standing at her side. A brief fluttery feeling filled her stomach before she remembered that she was wearing her oldest robes, which were covered in a number of substances from around the kitchen, and her hair was dragged back in a scraggly knot at her nape.

And she had a sobbing house elf wrapped around her.

_Why does he have to come in just now?_

"Oh, hi Blaise! Uh, who's Dobby?"

"He's Dobby" he said pointing at the creature clinging to her robes. "I'm not surprised you made him cry, but how come he's hugging you?"

_The house elf is Dobby?_ _Well_ _that's a relief._ "I didn't do anything to him." _Well, except nearly stand on him_. "He just grabbed me and started sobbing all over my robes."

He looked at her quizzically. "You didn't- by any remote chance- say something nice to him did you?"

She and Blaise had an ongoing joke making out that they both fit the Slytherin stereotype. It had been a real act before Malfoy had left, but now it was just a laugh between them.

"Well, actually, I did sort of ask him whether he was OK… He was just standing there staring! What was I supposed to say?"

"Get out of my way you ugly, inferior creature? Or do you just reserve that for the men in your life?"

_As if I'd ever call Blaise an 'ugly, inferior creature.'_ "Yes- specifically you. Why would being nice to… Dobby- make him cry?...And why are you down here?"

"I don't know the answer to that first question. He's got a crush on Harry"- _doesn't everybody?_- "but seems to have a breakdown whenever a student is nice to him. Tough upbringing I guess- isn't that the standard excuse?"

"Huh?"

"You know- muggle reality television?" _What is he talking about?_

"Guess not. Silly question I suppose. Dobby was the Malfoy's house elf, until Harry set him free. Hasn't got the most balanced of psyches."

Well that explained a lot. She looked at the house elf with fresh eyes. "Oh, you poor thing…Well, if you ever need a favour from a Slytherin- like, maybe, revenge- let me know." _Oh god, he's just started snivelling into my robes again. When will I learn?_ Blaise was looking at her with a raised eyebrow. _Crap!- That was such a Slytherin thing to say!_ "What! Malfoy deserves it!"

"No argument here babe." She loved it when he called her 'babe'.

He smiled devilishly. "I'd even be happy to help. I'm great at revenge."

Dobby spoke in a quavery voice. "We mustn't hurt Master Draco." _Poor thing still calls him "master"._ "Dobby won't- mustn't."

She spoke kindly. "Just Malfoy, Dobby- he's not your master anymore. And don't worry, we don't have any plans to hurt him in the near future." _Never bite off more than you can chew_.

"We don't? Damn, I was looking forward to it. Guess I'll have to find something else to do with my week." _He could spend it with me_. "Fortunately I've already got it worked out." _Damn_.

"Mind if I ask what?"

"Torturing myself." _Huh?_ "I have to spend every night this week in the company of a horrible Slytherin girl…Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm your partner down here for the week."

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_Blaise is going to be spending every night this week alone in the same room as me. Obviously someone up above loves me- despite my sins. _

_Oh, it isn't voluntary of course- he's serving detention for a prank, but then, who would spend their whole week down here by choice?- I'm just glad to have him… If only I could…_

Pansy had nearly always had male friends. She just didn't relate to other girls. Guys were so much more direct and she liked the fact that she, a cuddly, tactile person, could have a cosy physical friendship with them- it was nice to curl up with another person sometimes. And guys weren't nearly as obsessed with clothing and relationships (Draco Malfoy discluded)- she got enough of that from her mother.

Of course, sometimes she found them as difficult to read as any other female did, especially where it concerned her, but on the whole she felt much closer to them.

There was just one problem with having great guy mates: When she realised that she felt more for Blaise than just friendship, she also knew that he would never regard her as more than just a friend. Oh, sometimes she day-dreamed of course, studied him in the hope that she'd catch him staring dreamy eyed at her, but, of course, that never happened. Instead, he'd come and talk to her about his relationship problems with his long-time girlfriend Hannah Abbot or his latest crush on a Ravenclaw girl.

When he'd broken up with Hannah a couple of months ago, he had never really told her the reason. She'd dared to hope he might have suddenly realised he had deep unshakable feelings for her, Pansy, but that hope had been shattered when he'd treated her as always and chatted to her about other girls around Hogwarts.

Pansy could never tell him her feelings- short of hell freezing over- because, as well a just simply being too shy to openly proposition a guy, she didn't want to risk their comfortable friendship when she was so sure that nothing would come of it.

So all Pansy could do was to pretend that the crush didn't exist.

Except when she knew she could day-dream undetected about him.

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Despite having Blaise around to keep her company, the night was passing very slowly. Pansy had started straight after her final class and they had since prepared the meal, sent up the mains, had their own, sent up the dessert, cleaned up the mains and had just started calling dessert down again. They would have to clean that up and then prepare breakfast (so they didn't have to get up early and do it) before they could leave. Oh, and clean the kitchen and dishes.

She sighed and cast another spell to call down another dish. Everyone else would be going back to relax in their common rooms, while she and Blaise would be stuck here 'till at least 11. And then they would have to come straight down in the morning and start over for breakfast.

She sympathised with the house elves who had to do this every day- not just for one week- but at least they didn't have classes as well. She could only be grateful that Dumbledore had decreed that whoever was on kitchen duty was exempt from homework- though Blaise had to find time for that as well, as this was a punishment for him.

Placing the fruit salad bowl on the correct bench- and wondering how anyone could actually enjoy fruit salad- she cast another spell. A plate of pavlova scraps appeared in her hands. She looked down at the fluffy, light sweet and had an idea of how to relieve some of the boredom.

She squished her hands down in the mixture, delighting in the slimy feel of it. Then she walked around to Blaise who was cleaning goblets at one of the sinks on the far side of the room. Keeping her hands behind her back, she looked up at him and spoke "Hey Blaise, do you like Pavlova?" He nodded. Swiftly, she brought her hands up and smeared them down the sides of his face. He jerked back, but the damage was done. At the look on his face she began laughing. "Oh, that was great! I've always wanted to do that to someone!"

"Urgh! Think that was funny do you?"

"Hell yes!" she giggled.

He looked disgustedly at her and turned back to his goblets.

Still laughing slightly she returned around the corner to her end of the kitchen to start cleaning all the dessert serving bowls she had brought down. However, she only got as far as her second repetition of "Scourgify" before she felt something sticky and cold pressed against the nape of her neck. Squealing and spinning around, she saw Blaise standing behind her with the remains of a piece of mud cake stuck to his hand.

Now he was the one laughing. "Now we're even."

She just gave him a dirty look and reached for some cloth to clean the back of her neck- knowing better than to point a wand at herself from behind. She waited until he had walked around the corner before she grabbed a handful of cream.

When she appeared in his area again, he glanced up inquiringly. Not fooled a second time by her hands behind her back he asked what she had. In answer she held up the large glob of cream.

"We're even" he stated.

"So?"

"…Don't start something you can't finish."

And even though she suspected he would eventually win, she couldn't ever resist a challenge. "Oh, don't worry- I won't." And she made to slap the cream against the side of his face.

Blaise grabbed her arms and a bout of arm-wrestling ensued. From the moment he'd gotten hold of her, Pansy had known she was going to loose this particular encounter: Blaise was just so much bigger and stronger than her- and she didn't want to hurt him. So although she twisted and squirmed trying to get away from his grip- finding herself turned around and wrapped in his arms a couple of times, a position she quite enjoyed- she eventually found herself with empty hands, as most of the cream had fallen off and what was left, Blaise had forced her to wipe onto her own arms.

Reluctantly conceding defeat- for now- she relaxed and he released her. Muttering inaudibly- mostly because she couldn't think of anything smart enough to actually say out loud- she returned to her end of the kitchen.

And so the evening continued:

Pansy was more persistent. She frequently attempted to sneak up on him- having learned that she would loose in a direct attack- but these assaults were rarely successful as there were, in fact, few ways to steal up on someone in a kitchen. When Toby came to supervise them- and seemed to take malicious pleasure in doing so- she was able to smear small amounts of chocolate and cream along Blaise's arms and enjoyed his expression, as their supervisor meant he was unable to do more than look dismayed.

At the end of clearing, she went up to the great hall to clean the tables. There were still students hanging around, socialising with those outside their own houses. She saw Blaise slip in the door behind her and cursed. _I can't stop him- it'll make a scene and McGonagall's still here chatting to Granger. _

She watched Blaise come nearer and simply bent over the table she was cleaning. He paused beside her as though waiting for her to make some move to avoid him. She sighed and glanced up at him, but he made no move. She kept working for another moment, then, "Well, just do it!" _God, its bad enough I have to submit- does he have to draw it out?_

Apparently. "I'm just deciding where to put it." _Maybe he'll smear it across my lips...Oh God, please let him not read that thought on my face!_

She stood still and just glared at him. Finally, he reached out- and smeared it right across her nose. She glanced up: McGonagall hadn't noticed. But she then had to finish wiping the table and walk back to the kitchen passage- right through the centre of all those students, some of whom certainly had noticed. She glared at Neville Longbottom who was sitting beside Hannah Abbot and one of her Hufflepuff friends- and noticed his grin just got wider. Good thing she wasn't trying to be intimidating these days- a face covered in cream didn't do a lot for the superior image.

That was it for the evening: neither of them got any more hits in.

However, Pansy had a plan: It had become traditional for those working kitchen duties to take leftovers back to their dorm for a midnight feast. Pansy had carefully put aside two huge pieces of Pavlova. Blaise had thought nothing of it- he was taking pumpkin juice and a whole apple pie. Pansy just had to pray it would all work out right.

As they were cleaning the last of the dishes, but before they laid out breakfast, she said "Well…I guess I'm willing to concede a tie", knowing fully that up until this point he had won.

A look of disbelief crossed his face. "What? You completely lost- I won!"

"Well, you did get better shots in- but I got more. Quantity over quality! You on for it again tomorrow?"

Looking as though he would dearly relish the chance to put her in her place once and for all, he said "You bet."

"Cool."

They finished and walked down to the Slytherin rooms. When they got there, he sat down in one of the big leather recliners and pulled out his homework. She came and stood near him, wanting to put her plan into action- she had the pavlova in an open container in one hand. He looked up.

"Well this has been fun" she said.

He looked a bit baffled. "Uh, yeah. Aren't you going up to your dorm?"

She edged closer, making foolish talk. "Yeah, good question. I guess I should be going up there…" _Finally close enough! _Her hand, which had been hovering by the pavlova, grabbed a huge handful and whipped up toward his face- going for a full face shot. Unfortunately, he swung his up to block it and her hand impacted with the side of his head, mashing most of the handful against his ear and sending the rest of it splashing across the chair and carpet behind him.

A look of absolute horror crossed his face.

Feeling only slightly bad- and very proud of herself- she darted away for the door to the girl's dorms. Once at a safe distance, she turned to see him pointing his wand at the mess as he tried to clean it up. "Do you want some help?" _Hopefully not!_

"No, its fine." He sounded resigned.

_Oh that was brilliant! _She couldn't resist having the last word: "And that, Blaise, was quality AND quantity.- And I won…Goodnight."

Smiling, she made her way to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**II**

**A/N: I'd just like to point out that with the exception of the pav in the ear, in real life, Dan slaughtered me. And the bucket trick didn't work. Instead I drenched myself. **

**Disclaimer: Mine, all mine. **

**Not.**

Pansy was suspicious. And she had good reason- Blaise hadn't yet retaliated.

Although he'd been there for their breakfast shift in the kitchen, he hadn't taken the opportunity to do any more than comment on how disgusting it was to have pavlova get into your ear passages and how long it had taken him to get it out in the shower. Pansy had had to concentrate fiercely on the pumpkin juice she was pouring in order not to picture him in the shower.

So now, she knew that he had something in store- Blaise had said he was good at revenge- but she just didn't know what. It was making her quite jumpy and she had been too nervous to hug him as she usually did when they parted for classes. She was sure she had imagined the look she had seen in his eyes as she shied away from him- surely it wasn't disappointment?

She was currently on her way down to her room to drop off her books before going to the kitchen. Muttering the password, she moved into the common-room and paused to glance over at her prize-possession- her Nimbus 2002. It had been a gift for her sixteenth birthday and she kept it proudly displayed on the wall racks the Slytherins had mounted in their common-room.

_What are those markings! _She strode over to examine it. Carefully preserved with a spell, were the words _QUALITY AND QUANTITY _written delicately in chocolate sauce.

_ARGH!_

Despite her initial horrified reaction, Pansy swiftly saw the humour in it. It was a brilliant idea- everyone knew how much she cherished her broom and with its prominent position, it wouldn't be long before most of the Slytherins would see what had been done to it. Deciding to let Blaise have his victory- it would be mean-spirited no to- she left the broom as it was and continued up to her dorm… already plotting her revenge.

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Pansy made no mention of what had happened to her broom- she didn't want Blaise on his guard. Instead she spent the evening shift talking and laughing and lightly flirting with him as she usually did. Whenever she could, she would smear cream or pav or chocolate sauce on him.

Usually she failed though, and several times, she found her ammunition turned back upon herself. Once, after Blaise had smeared cream down the side of her throat, he slid his thumb into his mouth and sucked it clean and then licked the cream off his fingers. Pansy felt herself go red and glanced away.

After that, Blaise did the same thing every time and his eyes challenged her to hold his gaze.

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Pansy was both glad and disappointed the evening was over. Although she was very tired and her nerves were stretched thin, she couldn't help but wish that she could continue in Blaise's company. She didn't know what he was playing at- she assumed it was somehow part of their game- but as much as it disconcerted her, it was providing excellent fodder for her day dreams. _No! I mustn't think like that! _

Still, she had one more thing to look forward to before she retired.

Pansy stepped back behind Blaise as he stopped to say the password. As the door swung open, she stooped down beside the statue against the opposite wall and closed her fingers on the rim of a bucket.

A bucket she had earlier charmed to invisibility.

A bucked that was full of water.

Swiftly she swung it up and threw the contents across Blaise's head, neck and shoulders.

He let out a yell of surprise and spun round. Pansy, who was holding the bucket- which had become visible at the first touch of her fingers- grinned widely at him, taking a moment to admire the effect of his wet shirt- he had taken his robe off earlier to work in the kitchen- sticking to his tanned and toned torso.

"Why!" _Well I'd have thought that was obvious! We are in the middle of a game!_

"Because I wanted to see you with a wet shirt on."

"Really." Disbelief was paramount in the drawled syllables.

"No. Hadn't occurred to me. However, you can refill that bucket and use it to clean my broom…Everyone should have had a chance to see it by now."

And before he had a chance to protest she stepped around him and into the common room.

Turning and walking backward toward her dorm, she called out, "Oh and babe! Do a quality job!".


	3. Chapter 3

**III**

**Disclaimer: Ummmm… do you think anyone would believe me?**

Pansy had no ideas. That is to say, she had plenty of ideas, but none that fit in with the rules she had in her head about their game. _We're only using sweet food. No-one else can help me and we can't get in trouble or that'll be the end of it. Ummmm… _She couldn't help wondering what trick Blaise would pull next. She had taken to staying at a distance from him whenever they were in the same room, whether it was the common room, the kitchen or even in class. The problem was, now she didn't get hugs or hair-ruffles or any sort of physical contact with Blaise. And that sucked. Big time.

Professor Binns finally realised that their final class had ended five minutes ago and all his students were sitting with their scrolls and quills packed away, ready to leap out of the chair the moment he gave the signal- he had been involved in an in depth discussion of burrowing charms as they relate to blunt objects with Hermione Granger. He peered at them through his glasses and then said, "Oh very well, I can see you're all ready to run off and do your homework-" someone stifled a laugh, "-remember to practice your submerging charms for the test in a fortnight. You may-" the class were already on their feet and heading for the door as he said "go."

Blaise was leaning against the wall outside when Pansy managed to get through the door. His arms were folded at his chest and his legs were crossed at the ankle. His shirt had slid up slightly due to the angle and pulled tight. His expression was brooding as his hair fell into his dark eyes. Pansy tried not to let her interest show on her face- _Oh God he's so hot. Why can't he like _me_ instead of Hannah or Briar or…or Susan? _"Waiting for me? Should I be nervous?"

"That would be telling…"

Unable to think of a good line she simply leaned against the wall beside him, her shoulder brushing his. She watched the class walk away, noting absently that Harry Potter wasn't hanging around to wait for his girlfriend Granger. Almost without realising it, she sighed. _Why does love never run smooth?_

"Pansy?" Blaise's voice was unusually hesitant. She turned and saw him glance after Harry before looking back at her face.

"Mmm?" She lifted her brow.

"How about a deal?...No using gestures of affection as a trick in our game...You know, hugs and stuff."

_Has he missed them too? _"I could agree to that...We're still playing?"

"Oh yes." Now his grin was predatory. "I haven't finished with you just yet...I have a few things planned for you sweetheart."

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Pansy stepped into the kitchen and felt something dribble down her throat and pool against her collar bone. She reached a hand up and it came away with a red stain on the fingers. She licked it. _Mmmm...strawberry sauce. _She slid her hand into her collar again and wiped most of the sweet onto her fingers, before she could bring it to her mouth again however, Blaise slipped down off the bench he'd been kneeling on to ambush her and grabbed her hand. Slowly he slid each of her fingers into his mouth and sucked them clean. Pansy felt his teeth graze her finger tips. She could feel she was flushing as red as the sauce.

"Mmmm... so sweet." _Oh God...Oh God...What do I do!_

Slowly, unable to believe she was doing so, she reached up and undid the top two buttons on her shirt, pulling the collar aside, turning her head and lifting her chin to offer him access to the sauce on her throat. She felt Blaise go suddenly still and then he began to lower his face toward her skin. Her heart began to pulse faster and she ceased to breathe. His breath brushed against her skin, once, twice and she strained her senses for the first touch of his lips. She realised she had closed her eyes. _Surely now..._

"Pansy Parkinson miss! And Mr Blaise! Dobby bids you welcome! Welcome back to his kitchen!"


	4. Chapter 4

**IV**

**A/N: Pansy and Blaise have taken over and are moving at their own pace. The second part of that last chapter wrote itself – I suspect from now on all links with reality will be lost. Um, I also suspect there won't be many chapters left, I only ever intended the story to lead up to their first kiss and I have a feeling Blaise isn't prepared to wait too much longer ;) You may thank Bry for the hat line. She also says that I should mention the chocolate sauce/broom trick was based on a chocolate sauce/my car trick. Also, I now realise pavlova differs by country, here in NZ its a white meringue base coated in cream and usually, fresh fruit. We (and the ausies) claim it as a national dish/**

**Thanks to yeoldecrazy1 who came up with the banana split. Hope you get to read it after all this time :)**

**Disclaimer: Not. Mine. **

Pansy could quite happily have throttled Dobby. From the look on Blaise's face she suspected he felt the same.

"_I'm going to murder him...I'm going to take One. Hat. At . A. time..."_

"Um, Blaise?"

"Mmm?"

"Won't Dumbledore be angry if you murder a house elf when we're supposed to be learning empathy for them?"

"_You're_ supposed to be learning empathy, _I'm_ just on detention."

"Oh, well that's OK then...Can I watch?"

"You'd be an accessory to the crime."

"Oh...You're right. Well... can we wait 'til I'm not on kitchen duty then?"

"Miss and Sir should not get in trouble."

"No Dobby, you're quite right. I was just pointing that out to Mr Blaise."

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Pansy had spent the evening feeling confused. She didn't understand how Blaise could go from being so intense and passionate to his usual humorous, laid back self in just a few minutes. While she was still struggling to speak normally after their encounter- _oh, nice word, fool- _he was already joking about being an accessory to a crime. Had the whole thing just been a big game to him? But she was sure she hadn't mistaken his body language and tone of voice. How could he seem so attracted to her one second and so unconcerned the next? _He hasn't __shown_ _any interest since. I must have got it all wrong. Idiot- of course he played along, Blaise is just like me- can't resist a dare_. _But he said he'd murder Dobby? What should I expect? He's a guy, and smart enough to play the game. Oh shut up! Who argues out-loud in their head anyway? _

She could ask him of course. But Pansy knew she never would. The only way to work out what Blaise's true feelings were was to play this game through to its end.

To do that, she needed a good comeback to the strawberry sauce.

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When Pansy woke up on Thursday morning the plan was fully fledged in her mind. All she needed were the ingredients. Fortunately she was pretty confident that she knew a house-elf who would be willing to help.

Dobby was waiting when she arrived in the kitchen. "Is Blaise here yet?"

"No Miss, Mister Blaise has not yet come down to see Dobby."

"Good. I wonder Dobby, if you would be willing to help me make a present for Mr Blaise?"

He actually squeaked with excitement as his water eyes bulged._"_Dobby would be honoured to help Miss! What can Dobby do?"

"Here's what I need Dobby: a banana, some chocolate sauce, nuts, colourful sprinkles, and ice-cream. Lot's of ice-cream."

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Blaise never saw it coming. Trailing Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom from the

greenhouses, he missed seeing Pansy appear just above head-height from behind greenhouse four as he passed. Silently she moved up behind him on her broom and at the last moment pulled up as she poured semi-melted fudge ice-cream directly onto the crown of his head. He let out a yelp as the cold goo slid swiftly down past his ears, across his neck and into his collar. He swung round toward her but she had already lifted higher and proceeded to liberally squeeze chocolate sauce over the ice-cream.

Growling, he tried to grab the handle of her broom but she was carefully just out of reach. "Hold still doll, I'm not quite finished." So saying she threw a handful of nuts and sprinkles at the sticky mess. "Don't you just look delicious" she purred. _Well what passes for a purr in Pansyland. _

"What the hell!"

"You're a banana split...If I can just work out where to put this." She brandished the peeled fruit.

"My clothes!"

"That's what magic's for babe...Any ideas?"

"About what!"

"The banana."

Blaise opened his mouth, hesitated and then in a completely different tone crooned "come down here babe...I'll show you exactly what to do with it." His eyes locked on hers.

Pansy blushed. _Damn!...But I don't care how hot he is- he is not winning this round! _"Nice try! I know exactly what'll happen if I come down there! Another time maybe? I'm late for class." She winked at Weasley and Longbottom as she flew past. They were both chuckling.

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_I should have known better- baiting a Slytherin guy like Blaise...it surpases the normal bounds of stupidity. It was only ever a matter of time until he did something really horrible. But..._

"Blaise Zambini I am going to kill you! Dead! Painfully!...And Slow! Agonizingly slow!" She was slightly cheered when he looked briefly perturbed.

"That's harsh babe...why, I'm almost wounded. I fancy I could almost be cut to the quick!"

"Hah!"

"Truly. Why would you say such cruel things to me?"

"The honey Blaise! There is honey in my hair! My hair! _You're_ responsible for that."

"Sweet-" she glared and he changed tack: "Babe, you said yourself 'that's what magic's for'. It's no different to clothes."

"Like hell it isn't!"

"All's fair in love and war."

She fumed in silence. _He's right, damn him. And it was brilliant... But I have honey in my hair!_

"Let me help you with it." He pulled out his wand. "Then maybe, we can find somewhere else that you'd prefer me to put it." He leered playfully. Pansy was unimpressed- _I am not in the mood for this!_

"Put that bloody wand away. I am not letting you near my head with it. And bring me the honey jar...I need to be distracted from my hair." _I suspect you could do that very well. _She watched him disappear around the corner and turned to put her bag on the chair, digging for a hair tie in the inner pockets. When she straightened and turned, she found herself looking into Blaise's chest. As her eyes lifted to his he teasingly waved a small jar of amber liquid in front of her.

"Now just what were you planning to do with this?" The words were growled, low and husky. She stared at him, took a half step back in surprise.

"Um..." _Is that a bedroom voice? _"I think..." _I think I should lick it off your chest. Shit! Not good!_

"Mmmm?" He stepped closer again.

"I think- I have to go" she blurted out heading for the door. _What am I doing!_

"Babe?"

"Yes!"

"You forgot your bag."

"Oh. Right...Thanks...See you around...Tomorrow."

"Can't wait" he drawled and she glanced back to see him staring after her.

_What am I doing! I'm running. Escaping. That's silly- I want to be caught. No, it's sensible. Blaise isn't serious, he's playing. I'll get hurt or make a fool out of myself. I'm not up to this tonight. Now. Ever. Damn! But what if it's serious? Yeah right. But maybe... _Deeply confused, Pansy made her way to her dorm, where she discovered exactly how evil a substance honey could be.


	5. Chapter 5

**V**

**Yay! I finished. Now I can leave this tragic little mistake and hopefully write something decent. ...Well, try to. **

**A huge thankyou to the people who have left me compliments and suggestions. I hope those of you who are intersted get to read the end at last. Molto grazie. **

**JK, Bloomsbury, disclaimer, etc, etc.**

**Enjoy:**

Blaise was whistling as he descended the stairs to the kitchen. Pansy yelled "Blaise wait!" as she spotted his head on the second to last bend.

"Morning babe!" His grin was far too wide for the hour.

"Who's the bird?" she grumbled, panting from a long run.

"I don't follow."

"You look like the cat that's caught the canary."

He smirked. "Not yet babe, but it's still early."

"Hmph. Tell me about it. Anyway, McGonagall asked me to get you. She looked pissed. You'd better hurry."

"Merlin! What've I done now?" Without waiting for an answer he took off in the direction of the first floor corridor.

Pansy stared after him. She grinned. _It's too easy._

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

She was making toast when Blaise returned, flushed and dishevelled. _Better. That's what a boy should look like in the morning. _

"I don't know what you're planning but it sure as hell better be good after the scare you gave me!"

Pansy glanced sideways at him. "Babe, I'm _always _good."

He put his stuff down in the corner. "Oh, I don't doubt it."

She reached for the butter, began spreading it on the toast. "Would you get the jam out?"

As Blaise stepped into the fridge he triggered a trip wire, causing the jam to to slop down over his head and shoulders. He turned blindly, brushing against the shelf where the eggs were and stepped out again. Pansy threw a container of icing sugar at him. His face went from red to white.

He just stood with his eyes closed, not even licking his lips. As the minutes passed, Pansy became concerned. Hesitantly she moved closer and, when he still didn't open his eyes, reached a hand toward his powdery cheek. "Blaise what's-" Her voice changed to a squeak as his arms came up without warning and crushed her to him. She squeaked again as she felt an egg broken against her neck and dropped down the back of her shirt.

Blaise began rubbing his jam-powdery face against her hair and forehead. She wrenched back out of his arms and grabbed the nearest item to hand- the milk jug- pouring it down the front of his robes. He growled and reached past her, procuring the pumpkin juice and throwing it at her. Perfectly pressed shirt tuned orange. "Why you-", closer to the fridge, she darted in and took the chocolate sauce in one hand, strawberry sauce in the other. _We meet again. _

As she stepped from the cold, her opponent emerged from the pantry, sugar and cocoa in hand. An arc of dark powder sailed through the air and coated her face and upper body. Eye's shut, Pansy blindly squeezed both bottles in his direction. He grabbed the strawberry sauce and she jerked her other hand out of reach. Blinking through the cocoa, she felt cold stickiness hit her throat and dribble into her bra just as she attacked with her remaining weapon. She grabbed at his hand and managed to capture it, whereupon he simply raised his other arm and poured the entire container of sugar down over the crown of her head. The chocolate sauce bottle sputtered and refused to squirt any more.

Panting, the combatants paused. They were inches apart; his hand, with sauce bottle, suspended over the open neck of her shirt, gripped round the wrist by her smaller fingers. Her other arm reached between his ear and lifted bicep, chocolate sauce bottle above his hair, mirrored by the sugar jar over hers. Their eyes slid together. Before Pansy could start to wonder just how much trouble she was in, his pupils flicked down toward her lips and he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to hers.

Anticipating thought, her unconscious gently melded her lips to his and the chance to hesitate was lost.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They both ignored Toby's imperious request. The appearance of McGonagall was another matter. Pansy followed her gaze around the mess in the kitchen, across Blaise and down her own figure. _Oh crap._

"Mr Zambini, Miss Parkinson. What has been going on here?"

She glanced at Blaise. He looked blankly back at her. _Crap! Crap! Crap!_

"Miss Parkinson?"

"We were discussing...um..value, Professor. Quality or quantity. Um, which measurement is of more value that is...Professor." Blaise groaned under his breath. _Well a fat lot of good you were!_

McGonagall stared hard at her. "Is that so Miss Parkinson?...Very well. In detention, quantity is the key to effectiveness. You will both therefore spend the next month assisting in the kitchen as Blaise has been doing this week."

"Yes Professor."

"I suppose I needn't point out that there will be no more of this 'food-fighting' nor any behaviour that is... inappropriate for students within this institution. Please remember in future Miss Parkinson that you are, in fact, a prefect."

"Sorry Professor."

"Very well. I shall see you in class." Toby continued to glare as the professor swept out. He conjured cleaning equipment, raked them over with his glance, sniffed and disapperated.

Pansy turned back to Blaise, unsure what to say. He smiled at her. "Quality or quantity?"

"Well, we were... kinda."

"And was it quality babe?"

She was unsure of his meaning until she noticed the teasing grin he wore. "Hmmm... could do with some work."

He laughed out loud. "In that case, shall we hope that quantity is as effective as it is for detentions?"

_I don't think a quantity of detentions have worked with you. _But for once, Pansy was smart enough to use her lips for something other than smart arse comments.

As he pulled back to breathe she whispered, "does that mean we both win?"

He chucked and reached up to wipe a chocolate covered thumb across her lower lip. "I certainly hope so."

The End.


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